A leaking tap. And a fish tank. So we’d collect the water in a large mug and empty it into the tank. And once I was given the job. Little did I know that I’d walk the Pool e Sirat just trying to get such a simple task done.
It really was nothing more than going from one side of the house to another with a mug of water and putting it in a place where it would be used and not wasted. But if that same mug was overflowing…I picked the mug up and started the precarious walk. My steps were slow, calculated, and after just a few I started getting nervous. The water was spilling over the top and leaving a trail behind me. My hand started feeling heavy, and my steps got smaller and smaller.
I could see the fish tank, but suddenly it seemed light years away. My mind went into over drive contemplating what to do. I couldn’t return to the kitchen, empty a bit of the mug and walk back freely. It didn’t make sense. The fish tank was the same distance away, so I’d might as well have made the journey forward bound. I realized that should have emptied a little BEFORE starting..
As more water fell, I became nervous and my steps started shaking even more. Suddenly, I wasn’t in my hall anymore; rather on the Sirat of Judgement Day.
That mug in my hand was my book of deeds, and the sins written in it were weighing it down to the extent that it felt that upon my fingers was a load the size of Planet Earth.
My muscles were aching and every nerve in my body was on high alert. I could see heaven infront of me, shining in all it’s glory, but my heavy sins were preventing me from reaching it.
Wisdom had advised me to throw those unwanted deeds away before starting my journey, but just as I thought I’d be able to make it easily to the fish tank with an over flowing mug, in the same way I felt that I’d reach Jannah with all those sins. I didn’t bother erasing them from my book by doing Istighfar. I was too lazy. I couldn’t have been bothered. There were so many other worldly things to do..
And I was seeing its effect now. Every drop of spilling water was like a flame coming down from beneath me, burning my toes where any drop fell.
I couldn’t let go of the mug, there was no where to keep it. Just like how the Quran has said that on Judgement, every man shall be held hostage by his deeds. There would be no escape. An Ayah that freaks me out whenever I remember it.. (Surah Mudathir:38)
So I finished the walk. Mentally deranged by the end, and physically strained. My fingers hurt, my toes burnt and my mind froze. Did I want this to happen to me for real?
As I threw the water into the tank, I took my first breath in what seemed like eternity. I turned around and looked at the 20 second walk that had felt never ending. And just to drive the point home about how it would feel to walk on the Sirat without a load, I ran across the hall. I was at the entrance before I knew it.
It would have been this easy the first time round too, had I not been an insistent sinner and heedless about the fact that death may come before I have the time to lessen my burden with Tawbah.
Before leaving the hall, I looked back one again at the spilled water on the floor. I wouldn’t let those be the spots where I got burnt on the Sirat, I told myself. May God Help me keep my word to myself.
And May He Forgive you too, Ameen.